"Enter into every man's ruling faculty; and also let every other man enter into yours."

In October 1962, the world stood on the brink of nuclear war. The Soviet Union had placed missiles in Cuba. President John F. Kennedy was under immense pressure to bomb the missile sites.

On the critical Saturday of the crisis, Kennedy received two letters from the Soviet leader, Nikita Khrushchev. The first letter was emotional and rambling, but it offered a peaceful solution. The second letter, which arrived hours later, was stiff, aggressive, and demanded more concessions.

Kennedy's generals told him to ignore the first letter and respond to the aggressive second letter with force. But Kennedy had an advisor named Llewellyn "Tommy" Thompson, who had lived with Khrushchev. Thompson told Kennedy to do the opposite.

Thompson said, "Mr. President, you have to get inside Khrushchev's head. The second letter was likely written by his generals. The first letter is the man himself. He wants a way out. He needs to save face."

Kennedy listened. He "entered the ruling faculty" of his enemy. He responded to the first letter and ignored the second. He gave Khrushchev a way to back down without looking weak. Khrushchev accepted the deal. The missiles were removed. The world was saved.

If Kennedy had stayed inside his own head focused only on American pride and anger, he would've started World War III. By projecting his mind into Khrushchev's situation, he found the path to peace.

Marcus Aurelius urges us to perform this mental exchange constantly. "Enter into every man's ruling faculty." This means trying to understand why they are doing what they are doing. What are their fears? What is their logic? What information do they have that you don't?

And he adds: "Let every other man enter into yours." This is transparency. Be open about your own motives. Don't play games. Let people see your reasoning so they can trust you.

Errors & Corrections

• Don't assume you know their motives. We often guess that people are acting out of malice, when they are usually acting out of fear or confusion.
• Don't confuse empathy with agreement. You can understand a criminal's logic ("I need money") without agreeing that they should rob a bank.
• Don't hide your own ruling faculty. If you are mysterious and closed off, people will assume the worst about you. State your intentions clearly.

Applications to Modern Life

Interpersonal Relationships

When your partner is yelling, stop listening to the volume and start looking for the motive. Enter their ruling faculty. Are they yelling because they hate you? Or are they yelling because they feel unheard or unsafe? If you address the underlying feeling instead of the surface anger, you solve the fight.

Work

You are negotiating a salary or a contract. Don't just demand what you want. Enter the ruling faculty of the boss. What are their budget constraints? What pressures are they under? If you frame your request in a way that solves their problem, they are much more likely to say yes.

Politics

If you want to persuade a voter from the other party, you cannot start by calling them stupid. You must enter their mind. What values are they trying to protect? Freedom? Safety? Tradition? If you can show them that your policy respects their core values, they might listen. If you stay in your own mental fortress, you will never convince them.

Social Media

When you see a conspiracy theory, don't just mock it. Ask, "What psychological need does this theory fill for this person?" Usually, it fills a need for control in a chaotic world. Understanding this helps you treat them with patience rather than scorn.

Maxims

• Visit their mind.
• Open your doors.
• See with their eyes.

In-depth Concepts

Intellectual Empathy

This is different from emotional empathy (feeling what they feel). Intellectual empathy is the ability to reconstruct the other person's line of reasoning. It is a logic puzzle. "Given premises A and B, why did they conclude C?" The Stoic uses this to predict behavior and de-escalate conflict.

The Hegemonikon (Ruling Faculty)

This is the command center of the soul. It interprets data and makes decisions. Marcus is saying that we shouldn't just look at people's hands (actions); we should look at their command centers. The action is just the output; the Hegemonikon is the source code.