"What is it to you if this person is unjust? They have their own disposition, their own mode of action."

In 175 AD, a general named Avidius Cassius betrayed Marcus Aurelius. Cassius declared himself emperor in the East. This was a man Marcus had trusted. It was a deep personal betrayal. The Senate and the army expected Marcus to be furious. They expected a speech full of fire and vengeance. Marcus did not give them one. He remained calm. He told his troops that Cassius was merely acting according to his own flawed character. Marcus did not take the treason personally. He saw it as a fact of nature. It was like a cloud bringing rain or a prickly bush having thorns. Cassius owned the injustice. Marcus refused to accept delivery of it.

This reaction confuses most people. We usually think that if someone hurts us, we must be hurt. Marcus proved this is false. He understood a core boundary. The mind of Avidius Cassius belonged to Avidius Cassius. The mind of Marcus belonged to Marcus. One man's bad decision could not force another man to lose his temper. Marcus marched to the East to restore order. He did what was necessary. But he did it without hate in his heart. He even hoped to forgive Cassius if the general was captured alive.

You often carry burdens that are not yours. You let a rude coworker or an angry driver ruin your morning. You think their bad behavior is about you. It is almost never about you. It is about them. It is about their stress, their bad raising, or their ignorance. When you get angry at them, you are picking up their trash and putting it in your pocket. You are letting their "disposition" control your emotions. This is a mistake. You must leave their baggage with them.

Errors & Corrections

• Don't ask why people are so rude or unjust. Accept that their behavior is a result of their own character and history.
• Don't tie your emotional state to the actions of others. keep your peace independent of their chaos.
• Don't try to control how others act. Focus entirely on how you react to them.

Applications to Modern Life

This teaching saves you energy in the modern workplace. You might have a boss who is disorganized or a client who is ungrateful. You spend hours complaining about them. You ask your friends, "Can you believe what he did?" You replay the injustice in your mind. This does not fix the boss. It only drains you.

Apply this logic instead. Look at the difficult person. Say to yourself, "That is their mode of action." Visualize a wall between you and them. Their stress hits the wall and slides down. It does not touch you. You still do your job. You still address the issue. You might even fire the employee or quit the job. But you do it calmly. You do it because it is the right move for you. You do not do it because you are emotionally hijacked by them.

Maxims

• Their character is their business. My character is my business.
• Do not grant them the power to disturb you.

In-depth Concepts

The Sphere of Choice (Prohairesis)

Epictetus and Marcus emphasize the prohairesis. This is our moral character or will. It is the only thing that is truly ours. Everything else is external. The actions of another person are external to your prohairesis. Therefore, they cannot harm you unless you choose to view them as harmful.

Objective Representation

Marcus often used a technique to strip away emotional language. He would describe things exactly as they are. A betrayal is just a person making a choice. An insult is just sound waves moving through the air. When we view the event objectively, we stop adding our own hurt feelings to the facts.

Determinism of Character

The Stoics believed people act according to their nature and their understanding. If a person is ignorant of virtue, they will act viciously. It is inevitable. Expecting a bad person to act like a good person is foolish. It is like expecting a fig tree to produce olives.