"If they are wrong, teach them; but if you cannot, remember that patience was given to you for this purpose."

Cato the Younger was the moral conscience of Rome. He was known for his unshakeable integrity and his refusal to be intimidated. This often made him enemies in the volatile world of Roman politics.

One day, Cato was arguing a legal case in the Forum against a man named Lentulus. Lentulus was known for his violent temper. As Cato was making a point, Lentulus walked up to him and gathered a massive glob of spit in his mouth.

In front of the entire court, Lentulus spit directly into Cato’s face. The crowd gasped. It was the ultimate insult. Most Roman men would have drawn a dagger or thrown a punch. A brawl should have erupted immediately.

Cato did not flinch. He did not get angry. He calmly took a cloth, wiped the spit from his forehead, and looked Lentulus in the eye. He didn't scream. He didn't attack. He simply said, "I will swear to anyone, Lentulus, that people are wrong when they say you cannot use your mouth."

Cato was demonstrating what Marcus had reflected on.

1. Could he teach Lentulus? No. A man who spits is not ready for a lecture on justice.
2. So he used Patience. He endured the physical indignity without letting it touch his soul.

But his retort was also a masterclass in the "Service of Teaching" for the audience. By refusing to fight, and by making a witty observation about Lentulus’s inability to speak (using his mouth only for spitting), Cato taught the crowd the difference between a beast and a philosopher. He won the exchange not by violence, but by composure.

Errors & Corrections

• Don't equate patience with passivity. Cato wasn't passive; he stood his ground. Patience is the active containment of your own reaction so that you can remain superior to the abuse.
• Don't let the insult enter your soul. The spit touched Cato's skin, but he didn't let it touch his character. If he had raged, the insult would have worked. Because he stayed calm, the insult failed.
• Don't miss the opportunity to model virtue. When someone acts poorly, all eyes turn to you. This is your moment to "teach" the room what dignity looks like.

Applications to Modern Life

Work

In a high-stakes meeting, a colleague might throw you under the bus or insult your work. The room waits for you to explode. Do a "Cato". Wipe it off. Reply with facts. "I understand your frustration, but let's look at the data." You win the respect of the room by being the only adult present.

Leadership

A leader takes the heat. Sometimes a team member will vent their stress on you. If you retaliate, you destroy psychological safety. If you endure it (patience) and then later address the behavior calmly (teaching), you build trust.

Social Media

A viral comment attacks you. The "spit" is digital. If you type a furious reply, you are wrestling with Lentulus. If you ignore it or reply with wit and grace, you show that you are above the fray.

Interpersonal Relationships

During a breakup or a fight, your partner might say something designed to hurt you deeply. It is a verbal assault. Remember: they are "wrong" (acting out of pain). If you can't talk sense into them, use patience. Do not say the thing you can't take back.

Politics

Political opponents often resort to mudslinging. The candidate who gets angry looks weak. The candidate who wipes the mud off and pivots back to policy looks like a leader.

Athleticism & Sport

In contact sports, opponents will try to get under your skin with cheap shots. If you retaliate, you get the penalty. If you take the hit and keep playing, you draw the foul on them. Discipline beats emotion.

Maxims

• The calmest person in the room is the strongest.
• Don't wrestle with pigs; you both get dirty.
• Patience is the shield that breaks the arrow.

In-depth Concepts

Ataraxia (Tranquility)

Cato demonstrated Ataraxia—untroubledness. It is the state of mind that cannot be shaken by external events. The spit is an "external indifferent". It cannot harm the Hegemonikon (ruling faculty) unless Cato decides to interpret it as an injury.

Megalopsychia (Greatness of Soul)

Aristotle and the Stoics valued the "Great Souled" man. He does not bear grudges because he does not think the insults of others are significant enough to injure him. To be angry at Lentulus would be to admit that Lentulus has power over him. Cato admits no such thing.