"Remember that it is not he who gives abuse or blows who insults; but the view we take of these things..."

Arthur Ashe was the first Black player selected to the United States Davis Cup team, and the only Black man ever to win the singles title at Wimbledon, the US Open, and the Australian Open. He played in an era when segregation was still fresh and racism was loud.

When Ashe walked onto the court, he often faced hostile crowds. Opponents like Ilie Năstase or Jimmy Connors would try to rattle him with tantrums, aggressive shouting, or stalled play. People shouted racial slurs from the stands.

Most players would have exploded. They would have shouted back, thrown a racket, or gotten into a fistfight. Ashe never did. He played with a detached, icy elegance. He moved silently. He kept his face impassive. He treated the racism and the aggression as if it were just bad weather. It was there, but it was irrelevant to his swing.

Ashe realized that if he got angry, he was letting the racists win. He was letting them control his blood pressure and his focus. By refusing to react, he maintained total control of the match. He famously said, "I have always tried to be true to myself, to pick those battles I felt were important. My ultimate responsibility is to myself."

In 1975, when he beat the brash and younger Jimmy Connors at Wimbledon, he didn't do it by overpowering him. He did it by out-thinking him and staying calm while Connors unraveled.

Epictetus teaches that an insult is not a fact. It's a proposition. If someone calls you a "fool," they are simply offering you an opinion. It only becomes an "insult" (an injury to your soul) if you accept their opinion as true or if you decide that their opinion matters.

If you refuse to accept the proposition, the insult remains with them. It hangs in the air, unacknowledged and powerless. Ashe didn't catch the ball of hate they threw at him. He let it drop.

Errors & Corrections

• Don't catch the ball. When someone throws an insult, your instinct is to catch it and throw it back. That's how a fight starts. If you simply don't catch it, the other person looks ridiculous standing there with their arm extended.
• Don't confuse silence with weakness. People think you have to clap back to show strength. Real strength is having the discipline to ignore a gnat. Ashe was stronger than the people screaming at him because he controlled himself and they didn't.
• Don't blame the provoker for your anger. They provided the spark, but you provided the fuel. Without your judgment that "this is terrible," the spark would've died out harmlessly.

Applications to Modern Life

Work

You receive a rude email from a colleague who questions your competence. The error is to type a furious reply to "set the record straight." This proves they got under your skin. The Stoic response is to strip the emotion from the text. Read it as data. They're frustrated. They're unprofessional. That is their problem. Reply only to the factual points and ignore the tone. You win by staying professional.

Leadership

A leader lives in a glass house. People will criticize your decisions, your style, and your character. If you chase down every critic to argue, you aren't leading. You're brawling. View criticism as market data. If it's true, use it. If it's false, ignore it. Your composure under fire reassures your team more than your arguments ever could.

Athleticism & Sport

Trash talk is a strategic tool designed to break your mental discipline. An opponent insults you to make you tense up or commit a foul. If you react, they own you. If you smile and hit a winner, you own them. Ashe used his opponent's aggression against them. Be the ice that freezes their fire.

Politics

Political debates are 90% insults and 10% policy. Candidates try to trigger each other to produce a viral clip. As a citizen, you get triggered by pundits who mock your values. Turn it off. Realize they are performers paid to provoke you. If you don't take the bait, their act fails.

Social Media

A troll leaves a hateful comment on your post. They want a reaction. They want you to feel small so they can feel big. If you block them or ignore them, you deny them the only currency they value which is your attention. An insult on the internet is just pixels. It has no weight unless you pick it up.

Interpersonal Relationships

Family gatherings often come with passive-aggressive comments about your job, your partner, or your weight. You can ruin the dinner by exploding. Or you can view the relative as a person with bad manners and limited social skills. Treat their comment like a burp. It's unpleasant, but it doesn't require a debate.

Maxims

• No insult without acceptance.
• They offer; I decline.
• Anger is an admission of pain.

In-depth Concepts

Hypolepsis (Judgment/Opinion)

The Stoics distinguished between the Phantasia or impression (the raw data of hearing a bad word) and the Hypolepsis or judgment (deciding that the word hurts you). We cannot stop the Phantasia, but we have absolute control over the Hypolepsis. The discipline of the mind happens in that gap.

Contempt (Oligōria)

In a philosophical sense, contempt means "belittling" or treating something as small. The Stoic treats insults with oligōria. We view them as too small to impact our character. It isn't arrogance. It's a realistic assessment of the value of a fool's opinion.