"To expect a bad person not to do wrong is madness. It is to ask for the impossible. But to allow him to wrong others and yet expect him to spare you is thoughtless and tyrannical."

In the 1930s, Ernst Röhm was one of the most powerful men in Germany. He was the leader of the SA, the paramilitary wing of the Nazi party. He was a close friend of Adolf Hitler. Röhm and his "Brownshirts" spent years beating up political opponents and spreading violence to help Hitler gain power. Röhm knew exactly who Hitler was. He knew Hitler was capable of ruthless violence because they had committed it together.

Röhm believed he was special. He thought he was the one man Hitler would never touch. He believed their friendship and his loyalty made him immune to the monster he had helped create. He was wrong.

In 1934, during the "Night of the Long Knives," Hitler decided that Röhm was a political liability. He ordered his arrest and execution. When the SS officers came for him, Röhm was reportedly shocked. He couldn't believe that the violence he had unleashed on others was now turning on him. He died because he foolishly believed that a leopard would change its spots just for him.

This story illustrates the fatal error of special pleading. Marcus Aurelius calls it "madness" to expect a bad person to be good. If you see a fig tree, you expect figs. If you see a baby, you expect crying. If you see a "bad person" (someone ruled by vice), you should expect bad behavior. It's a law of nature.

Marcus adds a second, sharper point. It's "tyrannical" to think they will hurt everyone else but spare you. Why are you so special? Why should the laws of the universe pause just for you?

When you befriend a gossip, a cheater, or a bully, you often tell yourself, "They are mean to others, but they like me." You are setting yourself up for a painful surprise. A person's character is a pattern. If they cheat on their taxes, they will cheat on you. If they gossip about their best friend, they will gossip about you. Expecting anything else is a denial of reality.

Errors & Corrections

• Don't act surprised when a person repeats their past behavior. Surprise is a sign that you weren't paying attention to who they really are.
• Don't think you can "fix" them with your love or loyalty. Character is deep-seated and usually requires a massive internal crisis to change, not just a nice friend.
• Don't believe you are the exception. If a snake bites everyone it meets, you are just the next person in line to be bitten.

Applications to Modern Life

Interpersonal Relationships

This is the classic mistake in dating. You meet someone who cheated on their spouse to be with you. You tell yourself, "They left their spouse because they didn't love them, but they love me, so they won't cheat." You are asking for the impossible. They have demonstrated that they solve relationship problems with betrayal. Eventually, they will use that solution on you.

Work

You have a boss who throws other employees under the bus to save his own reputation. He is nice to you today because you are useful. Do not mistake this utility for loyalty. The moment a project fails, he will blame you to save himself. Keep your documentation perfect and watch your back.

Social Media

You follow an influencer or a pundit who makes a living by mocking and attacking people. You enjoy it when they attack people you dislike. But one day you disagree with them, and they attack you. You cannot complain. You knew they were a rattlesnake. You can't be mad when you get rattled.

Politics

Voters often elect "strongman" leaders who promise to punish their enemies. They cheer when the leader breaks the rules to hurt the "bad guys". Then they are shocked when the leader breaks the rules to hurt them. If you hand a sword to a man who loves violence, don't expect him to check your ID before he swings it.

Maxims

• A fig tree yields figs.
• Surprise is a failure of observation.
• There are no exemptions from character.

In-depth Concepts

Physis (Nature)

The Stoics were obsessed with the nature of things. Everything acts according to its physis. Fire burns. Water wets. A vicious man does vicious things. To expect otherwise is to fight against nature itself. Marcus argues that being angry at a bad man is like being angry at a baby for wetting the diaper. It is simply what they do.

Tyranny of the Ego

Marcus uses the word "tyrannical" in a specific way here. A tyrant is someone who thinks they are above the law. When you think, "He lies to everyone, but he won't lie to me," you are claiming a tyrannical status. You are claiming that you are so important that the laws of human psychology don't apply to you. This is a massive ego trip that usually ends in disaster.