"The greatest remedy for anger is delay. Beg anger to grant you this: not to forgive, but merely to assess."

The Roman Emperor Augustus was the most powerful man in the world. He had the power of life and death over millions. He also had a temper. He knew that his anger could lead to terrible mistakes.

Augustus had a Stoic teacher named Athenodorus. When Athenodorus was preparing to leave the royal court to return home, he gave the Emperor one final piece of advice in the form of a practical tool. Athenodorus said to him "Whenever you feel yourself getting angry do not say or do anything until you have repeated the all of the letters of the alphabet to yourself."

Augustus was so impressed by this advice that he grabbed Athenodorus's hand. He said, "I still have need of you here," and kept the teacher at the palace for another year. The Emperor understood that even a ruler of the world needs a trick to slow down his mind.

This story shows the mechanics of the quote. Anger is like a sudden fire. It flares up hot and fast. If you act while the fire is hot you will burn everything around you. Seneca teaches us that we do not need to fight the anger directly. We just need to wait. Anger is not a solid object. It is a temporary state of mind. It cannot last forever. If you wait the anger will naturally fade away.

The alphabet trick works because it forces time to pass. It forces the mind to switch from "emotional mode" to "thinking mode." When you are angry, you think that the situation is a catastrophe. You think you must act right now. This is a lie that your emotions tell you. The delay allows you to see the truth. You are not asking for permission to forgive the person. You are just asking for enough time to see what actually happened.

Errors & Corrections

• Don't think that delaying means you are weak or passive. Reacting instantly is often a sign of weakness while waiting requires strength.
• Don't use the delay to plan your revenge. Use the time to calm down rather than to sharpen your arguments.
• Don't say "I am fine" if you are still angry. Admit to yourself that you are compromised and need a moment to recover.

Applications to Modern Life

Work

You receive an email that makes you furious. It feels personal and unfair. You want to type a nasty reply immediately. Do not send it. Write the draft if you must but do not put the recipient's name in the "To" field. Walk away from the computer for one hour. When you come back you will likely delete the draft and write a professional response.

Interpersonal Relationships

You are arguing with your spouse. They say something that hurts you. You feel the urge to say something hurtful back. Stop talking. Tell them "I am feeling too angry to have this conversation productively right now." Go to another room. Wait until your heart rate goes down before you return to the discussion.

Social Media

You see a post that contradicts your deepest beliefs. You feel a surge of outrage. You want to type a comment to prove them wrong. Put your phone down. Wait ten minutes. After ten minutes you will realize that arguing with a stranger is not worth your peace of mind.

Leadership

An employee makes a costly mistake. You are the boss and you are angry about the lost money. Do not call them into your office immediately. wait until the next morning. If you speak to them while angry you will yell. If you speak to them the next day you will coach.

Maxims

• Give it an hour.
• Anger is a bad advisor.
• Wait for the fog to clear.
• Delay is the cure.

In-depth Concepts

Propatheia (First Movements)

The Stoics recognized that we cannot control our initial physical reaction. When something bad happens your heart might race and your face might flush. This is called propatheia. It is a reflex. It is not a sin. The problem happens when you "assent" or agree with that feeling. The delay gives you time to notice the reflex without agreeing to it.

Temporary Madness

Seneca famously called anger "brief madness." He argued that an angry person is functionally insane for a short period of time. They cannot listen to reason and they do not care about consequences. If you were drunk you would not make important financial decisions. You should treat anger the same way. Do not make decisions while you are under the influence of the madness.