"The best revenge is not to be like that."

Pericles was a prominent statesman and general in ancient Athens. One day a man began to follow him through the public square. The man was furious about a political decision. He shouted insults at Pericles. He called him terrible names and mocked his appearance. Pericles did not stop walking. He did not shout back. He went about his business calmly for the entire day.

The man followed Pericles all the way to his front door. It was now evening and very dark. The man was still shouting abuse. Pericles turned to one of his servants. He did not order the servant to attack the man. He did not tell the servant to chase the man away. Pericles simply handed his servant a lamp. He said to the servant, "Take this lamp and walk this man safely home."

The man had spent the day acting like a beast. Pericles ended the day acting like a gentleman.

This story illustrates the core meaning of the quote. The angry man wanted a fight. He wanted Pericles to get down in the mud and wrestle with him. If Pericles had shouted back, the man would have won. He would have dragged a great leader down to the level of a street brawler.

When someone attacks you, they are inviting you to join them in their bad behavior. They want you to mirror their anger. They want you to copy their cruelty. The moment you copy them, you lose. You might win the argument. You might get the last word. But you have lost your own standards. You have allowed an external person to dictate your internal behavior.

The "best revenge" is not to hurt the other person. It is to remain superior to the behavior they are showing. It is to show them that their poison cannot infect you. You punish their anger by refusing to adopt it. You prove that you are different.

Errors & Corrections

• Don't confuse revenge with justice. Justice restores balance and corrects behavior while revenge seeks to cause pain for personal satisfaction.
• Don't think silence is weakness. Refusing to argue back shows you have control over yourself and it takes more strength to stay quiet than to scream.
• Don't try to "get even." When you get even with someone who is low you must lower yourself to their level so stay above the behavior.

Applications to Modern Life

Work

A coworker might take credit for your idea. Do not steal credit for their work in return. Do not start spreading rumors about them. Continue to do excellent work. Document your contributions clearly and professionally. Let your competence speak for itself.

Social Media

People online often leave hateful comments to get a reaction. If you reply with hate you give them exactly what they want. The best revenge is to ignore the bait. Continue to post positive or thoughtful content. Do not let their anger turn your feed into a battlefield.

Interpersonal Relationships

A partner or friend might snap at you in anger. It is natural to want to snap back. This creates a cycle of shouting. Break the cycle. Respond with a calm voice. If you cannot be calm then step away until you can. Show them a better way to handle frustration.

Politics

Political opponents often use insults or lies. If you support a cause do not use insults or lies to defend it. Stick to the facts. Debate the ideas without attacking the person. If you act like the "other side" that you hate then you become exactly like them.

Maxims

• Let them keep their poison.
• Your character is your only possession so do not trade it for anger.
• The only harm is the loss of integrity.

In-depth Concepts

The Hegemonikon (The Ruling Faculty)

This is the Stoic term for the leading part of your mind. It is the part of you that makes decisions, forms judgments, and chooses actions. External events cannot touch the Hegemonikon. Other people cannot touch it. Only you can corrupt it. When you choose revenge you voluntarily corrupt your own ruling faculty. You surrender your reason to the passion of anger.

Moral Injury

The Stoics believed that the person doing the wrong is the one who is truly injured. When someone hits you then your body is bruised. That is a physical injury. But the attacker has damaged their own capacity for justice and kindness. That is a moral injury. Moral injury is far worse because it damages the human soul. When you seek revenge you are volunteering to inflict a moral injury on yourself.